Dear family and friends,
So my letter this week will be kind of
short. I had some great spiritual experiences, most involving just me. My comp
got sick for a bit this week so our work wasn't as huge as other times. But
yeah... so life moves on. I don't know if I mentioned but we have an
investigator that only has one leg, and we were able to get him a wheelchair
because the church is so very, very nice. He’s a nice guy who likes to talk
forever.
So a looming and depressing feeling of
failure has overshadowed this week. Not failure of the week only, although that
is part of it, but of my own personal failure. This week I felt like I was
wasting my time, I was going day to day in virtual silence, and I felt like I
was rendered dumb because of the language and culture barrier. Everyday we
would go out and work and I would end up being very quiet and let my companion
do all the talking. The reason of this is he is Tongan and everyone understands
him and he gets along with everyone and knows how to become friends and so he
would just do everything. Every night when I would come home I would be in a
black mood because I have a drive within me to work, (which has proven to my
benefit before) but my drive to work would leave me feeling useless and
pointless and I was so frustrated. I wanted to work so badly! I would think of
President Hinckley’s mission advice "stop complaining and get to
work" and I would think, that's the exact thing I want to do!!!! But I
can't! I don't speak the language, I don't get along with the people, and the
people in general don't talk to me, only to my companion. Essentially, I wanted
to shut up and do the work, but that was the one thing I couldn't do. So I was
quite frustrated and being frustrated on a mission is a really frustrating
thing, I can't put in my metal and rap music and drown it away with people
screaming, I can't go hide in the garage and light stuff on fire and hit stuff
with a hammer, I can't go drive to Emmett and go cliff jumping or get my lawn
chair and go sit in the river with some Mountain Dew. So basically I decided it
was time to deal with my problems. I got on my knees and gave a detail
presentation to the Almighty God and then got to work. There is a scripture in
the Bible Dictionary that says "All blessings require some effort on our
part before we can obtain them" whether this effort is a simple prayer or
going to extra-ordinary measures to achieve them, it requires effort. I did my
scriptures studies and made a plan, which I believe is revelation in the purest
sense. The plan consisted of 3 words. Talk. Pray. Listen. To fix my problem, I
had to talk more to other people. There is simple no way of inviting others to
come unto Christ if I don't say or do anything. The action I would be
performing however, aside from talking to other people, is using my faith. I
planned to trust in God enough that he promised to help me if I would do my
part. I simply had to make the effort and He would assist me to accomplish His
design. Faith in a working sense. The next was Pray; I needed to make my
prayers more real. Too often I pray for what I know is right, but my actual
heartfelt desire has been lost somewhere in another subject, so I decided to
pray for real, going off my actual deep desires and what I felt. I can feel the
Spirit in an increased and wonderful way during my prayers. Last was to listen,
as is listening to the Spirit. I felt sure if I would pray with real intent and
do my necessary action, then promptings would come and all I had to do was
listen. I felt like I wasn't alone and I had help now. I had a plan, even with
my limited capabilities, could accomplish and I was determined to do so. My
scripture I have taken to heart is the end of Alma 33:23. "... And even
all this can ye do if ye will. Amen".
The last thing I’ll leave you with is a
story. On Monday I almost died laughing because we did a family home evening
with this family we have been working with. They did an activity where they put
on some modern hip-hop music and made all the old men dance. It’s a terrible
thing to laugh, but watching a couple of 60 year old men trying to dance is so
freaking funny, especially when they are trying really hard to do it. Man...
I’ll leave that for everyone to imagine.
Elder Sitaki
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| When you get married in Tonga you wear these cool outfits. |
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